Never quite follows the recipe. Doesn't really measure. Tastes with her fingers. Somehow, it always works.

In which we veer

Posted: October 26th, 2008 | Author: johanna | Filed under: Johanna | No Comments »

I know that this is a blog about cooking.
But it’s also a blog about food, and food is something with which the majority of the females I know have a contentious relationship. 98% of us have said the phrase “I shouldn’t eat this” or some form of it at one time or another. And really, if we’re being honest here, it generally doesn’t keep us from eating whatever it is. We say we shouldn’t, and then we do, and we feel badly about ourselves because of it.
The majority of the girls that I know have body image problems. We think we’re fat, or that our bodies are imperfect. We think that losing 15 pounds, or growing 3 more inches, or whatever it might be, is going to make us perfect, make us happy with our bodies. But honestly…. the kind of things that we’re angry with our bodies for are the kind of things that won’t change by losing 15 pounds or growing 3 inches.
My body has changed shape significantly over the past 5 or 6 years. Only one of my readers knew me then, and frankly, she’s my mom. Through it all though, I’ve never had a problem about food. I mean, I’ve been happier since I started cooking for myself. I’ve discovered better things, and I feel like I’m eating better, because I know what’s in my food.
No matter what else I worry about regarding my weight/shape/etc, I never worry about food. I blame myself for getting chubbier than I was before, but I don’t think about cutting down on the butter intake. I don’t resolve to join a gym, or work out in any other way. I just get mad at my body for not metabolizing as quickly as it used to. Weird.

It’s not pro-active. In fact, it’s hardly active at all. But I’m still not mad at food. I understand that I can eat whatever I want, as long as whatever I want is in moderation. I need to remember to moderate a little better, but in general I’m ok. I just need to remind myself of that from time to time. My doctor told me that I’m in perfect health. I need to be a little more active, but I’m healthy. I’m strong. It’s time for me to enjoy myself and not blame my body, or my food.
Maybe it’s that time for all of us. To just be healthy, to be active, and to not blame our bodies for what they’re made to do. Let’s try and just… be happier. be healthier. be calmer. be prouder.

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