Never quite follows the recipe. Doesn't really measure. Tastes with her fingers. Somehow, it always works.

In which I cook to save myself from a freakout.

Posted: April 2nd, 2008 | Author: johanna | Filed under: Johanna | 20 Comments »

I hate cooking angry. I really really hate it. When I’m angry, or annoyed, I resent everything I’m cooking, and everyone I’m cooking for. This is the polar opposite from myself. I love cooking because I love to cook for people. So being annoyed at people while cooking doesn’t necessarily poison the food, but it poisons my enjoyment of it.

I cooked mad tonight. I hate cooking mad. But I still made delicious food. I should be proud. This was a leap for me, and I did a good job. But I’m not proud. Even the praises of my boyfriend and roommate (at whom I was mad in the first place) don’t make this taste any better. In fact, I don’t even want to eat it. I just want to let it get cold and then throw it out – or put it back in the pan or feed it to the dog. Maybe it’ll taste better tomorrow for lunch than it does right now. But right now…. meh.

Tonight, I made penne alla vodka, with chicken meatballs.

Empirically, it is delicious. Empirically, I don’t taste food.

To make the chicken meatballs, you take a pound of ground chicken, add a clove of chopped up garlic, some thyme, some parsley, salt, pepper, parmesan, bread crumbs, an egg, and poultry seasoning. You smush it all together, and make little teeny meatballs, smaller than a golf ball. It was a nice release, because after being spoken to as though I don’t know anything about anything, I got to make a ton of noise and smash things around and even though I didn’t feel better once I did it, at least I got to do it. I sauteed them in olive oil, until they were done. Done through. This is imperative, so there are no food-poisony-nesses. Ok?
I promise, someday I’ll measure things, figure out how much of everything I put in and then these recipes can be replicated, but until that day, you’re going to have to do it the way I do…. wing it, do it by feel, etc.

My vodka sauce was remarkably easy. I didn’t know it was so easy to make. I sauteed half an onion, and 3 cloves of garlic in butter and olive oil, until they were soft and see-through. Then, I added half a cup of vodka, a handfull of chopped parsley, and a big can of crushed tomatoes. Then, some cream. The recipe I based mine off of called for a pint. I’d say I added probably half a pint at most. Simmer it together while you drain the pasta that you’ve cleverly been boiling. Add the meatballs back into the sauce, so they get all nice and warm, and then add the pasta. Mix it around with some Parmesan, and some Mozzarella.

Serve it to people all mixed together. You will hear rave reviews. However, if you’re still angry with at least one of the people that you’re serving, it won’t really matter.

I ended up finishing the food. I’m still angry. But… the food ended up tasting ok. Next time, hopefully it’ll taste even better, because I won’t be eating it as a side dish to ire.

Also, last night I served panko-crusted salmon, pan fried, with steamed vegetables and a butter/wine sauce. The sauce should have reduced about 5 minutes more. But, in the end, it was good enough. I was feeling ….. down last night. I need to get “up” before I try to make burgers tomorrow night, because I can’t be bummed out and make burgers – it’s just not possible.

Any suggestions?

Anyone????


20 Comments on “In which I cook to save myself from a freakout.”

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